zach and miri

no. 63 Zach and Miri Make a Porno

Wow, it's been so long since I watched this, I just couldn't write about it. I know it sounds really corny, especially from me, a huge Kevin Smith fan, but he's off his fucking rocker. Girls who sleep in hockey jerseys NEVER have their best friend fall in love with them at the right time, no matter what. Seriously, I'm not pointing fingers, but this semi-attractive, smartest bitch who thinks like a guy and can talk shop and sports like a mother fucker is still sleeping in her 21 year old Pens jersey and is single at 33. From experience, Kevin Smith doesn't know what he's talking about.

Other than that, I fucking loved this movie! It's dirty, smart, funny...did I mention dirty...and it's a love story? No way! He wrote it for Seth Rogen and I don't think anyone else could have pulled off the material with a sense of second nature, ease and spot on timing. Elizabeth Banks got the Pittsburgh girl perfectly. I'm actually glad that no one tried the accent. Tyler Labine (aka Sock - the cute chubby guy from Reaper) makes an appearance as a drunk Steelers fan, stopping for coffee to sober his drunk ass up for the drive home. When he walks out the door, he yells, "Go Steelers!" in perfect form, although it should have been pronounced with one syllable, not two. Real porn stars? Who's brilliant idea was that?! I love Tracy Lords.

Some of the deleted scenes were so great - I understand why they were cut, but being from PA, they made the film a Pittsburgh film. All the city scape shots were scrapped - everything that really made this film Pittsburgh were gone, the river, the incline, you name it. Other than they really did shoot on the grounds and in the Monroeville Mall, the one real Pittsburgh shot is when they're standing outside the Igloo while Zach is still dressed as a South Street Houligan. I've been on that concrete a million times, hockey games, concerts, even working my Honda mojo.

Two very PA scenes that made the reel for me - the extended morning shot where Zach goes to warm up the car while Miri's in the shower. The handle's iced shut, he tries everything, including stealing her coffee and hoping it's hot enough to melt the ice - THAT's the nasty ass flesh colored stuff that's on the driver's door (I thought it might be puke from the night before!) We get to see the car run off the street from the newspaper boy - both the driver and the cop even try to get the door open. They employ some really sad body checks, garbage can slams and nearly pull the gun...until Miri walks out, opens the passenger door and slides across to start the engine. Only a PA girl would know to do that. The second was fucking classic - which coming from Jersey, Kevin Smith would have to cop to doing this every day. They're all dressed to go to their reunion, jump in the car, pull out of the drive way to go all of two blocks before turning in at the school. CLASSIC! (Honestly, I'm confused with Pittsburgh [I know why, I can read the internet, but follow me.] Yes, this could happen in Pittsburgh before any other city, hands down. I just figured, being a Jersey boy, Smith would choose Phila because it's almost as trashy and his back door. I can only assume it's because the Pens are the best fucking hockey team on the planet and he'd be embarrassed to the grave - and his children's children - if he had to put a Flyers logo anywhere on camera.)

I watched this twice, which rarely happens. Watched ALL the extras, there were a gazillion! The bonus dvd was like 3.5 hrs long. The Justin Long stuff was funny, at first, then it got long in the tooth, but I watched it all :)

Now that I've written this, I left out all the stuff I've been feeling about the movie. The script really hit home. I am SO glad that the bills always managed to get paid and I never found myself in this dire financial predicament, but I will tell you, it would have been nice to know then rather than month or years down the line how they felt about me. I could have handled it.